Showing posts with label personal journey. Show all posts
Showing posts with label personal journey. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

My Head Hurts


My head hurts.

I. Mean. Seriously.

Thought pellets. 

My brain must look like cheap siding after a hailstorm. And I can't get half the ideas out my fingertips or mouth before they melt.

They pound at all times of day and night. Wherever I am. Whatever I'm doing. Or not doing.

I quit my job. To eliminate distractions. To seek tranquility. To declutter. To simplify. To focus.

It helped.

Sort of.

Not so much.

I cleared some overgrowth. Tumbled some walls.

I'm a lone tree. A target for thought strikes.

Holy Discontent. Half Time. Popeye person. Passion. One thing. A good finish. Success to significance. My truest purpose. Eternal perspective.

The "stuff that stirs my heart's holiest chambers." (Bob Buford)

Dizzy.

I contemplated past dreams and activities. Missionary nurse. Parish nurse. Nun. Airline attendant.

But . . .

Words. Words. Words. The Word. Words in. Words out. Turn a word. Twist a phrase.

Makes my heart quiver. Throb.

Set apart. For words. Words that heal, encourage, and inspire. Words that elicit laughter and tears. Words that share the Word.

My head hurts.

Make. It. Stop.

Don't stop.


"If I don't write to empty my mind, I go mad." ~Lord Byron

What does your brain look like?

(Tweaked and reposted from Beholding God.)

Copyright © 2010 by Sandra Heska King

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Your Message in One Word

What's your message?

What's the one thing you want to convey through your writing? Or at least the major thing.

To focus on.

Could you put it in just one word?

I've been thinking a lot about this.

I thought I wanted to get people excited about the Word. See things they'd never seen before. Make them hungry and thirsty. In my writing and my teaching.

I still want that.

But it's not one word.

Hunger? Thirst?

Those are one words.

Nah.

I want my readers to laugh sometimes. Laughter is healing.

Laughter. Humor. Healing.

Hmmm. Those are pretty good one words for a nurse turned writer.

But none are my one word.

The single most important concept for me in my faith walk has been that of the sovereignty of God. Knowing that He's in control. That He doesn't let go. No matter what. That He weaves everything into His perfect plan.

But "sovereignty of God" is still not one word.

"Sovereignty" is.

I like it.

But that's still not "it."

I think I've figured it out, though.

My. One. Word.

Rest.

Physical. Emotional. Spiritual.

Yep. I think that's it.

My one message.

My one word.

Rest.

What's yours?

Copyright © 2010 by Sandra Heska King 

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

This Writing Thing - A Ramble

"Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple, learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen." ~John Steinbeck

I can see Gracee and the neighbor girl outside.  Gracee writes something with her finger in the wet sand while Jackie sits in the "castle" with dolls. Lost in an imaginary world. Nothing hanging over them.

No bills to pay. No laundry to do. No dinner to plan. Not worried about doing too much or not enough.

Just being. Whatever they feel like at the moment.

I feel more like a writer every day.

But I still feel cluttered. Duties distract, and I resent the time taken from writing. When I write, I fight guilt. This afternoon I emptied the dishwasher and cleaned up from Monday night's dinner. Such as it was.

Yes, I know this is Wednesday.

But I devote Monday to study, and then I teach on Tuesday. And after class yesterday, I met Abby for lunch and shopping. And then I came home and wrote some more. And this morning I wrote. And then got a pedicure with Abby.

I lived some life.

And the kitchen finally screamed for attention.

I just dewrinkled the same load of clothes for the third time. I need to comb through photos and mementos and organize them for posterity. I stare at partially stripped wallpaper and walls that need fresh paint. I peer through dirty windows. The carpet demands a visit from the cleaning professionals. The weeds may soon crawl under the doors.

That basement bathroom looks pretty gross. So does the upstairs one for that matter.

And my year-old harp weeps for a loving hand.

Always torn.

Never free. Of duties that need doing. Of ideas that keep breeding.

I need more time to be.

I need to shed even more stuff. Simplify yet some more.

Because I want to live a simpler life. 

Because I want to lose myself in an imaginary world.

Because I want to play in the castle with words.

Because this writing thing chases me, yowls and paws at me like a love-hungry cat.

Copyright © 2010 by Sandra Heska King

Thursday, April 22, 2010

So Long. Good-bye. Farewell

Last week Bonnie Gray invited me in a blog comment on Beholding God (Messy Monday) to take a "What If" challenge.

Brainstorm five "what if" questions, she said. Fast. Choose one. And then let's jam about it.

Like today. A week later.

Say what?

I took the challenge and posted my response over there, although it fits here, too. Maybe better.

Anyway, follow me and check it out.

Copyright © 2010 by Sandra Heska King

Monday, April 5, 2010

Why Write?



Write
To discover One Life
To find one's own life
To enter other lives
To change many lives.
The end.
The beginning . . .

Copyright © 2010 by Sandra Heska King

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Habits: Breaking Old, Making New - Part 2

 
I have to adjust the plan. 

Because a timer is not going to work for these morning pages. 

And no, I did not eat those M&M's early in the morning. I just sat them on the notebook for your enjoyment. I ate them later. After breakfast.

Anyway, when the timer went off, I did not want to stop. I kept going. Even though my hand and arm periodically cramped. And I felt like I could scribble more drivel, but I had to get to the next thing on my list. 

Jesus.

I felt guilty putting the writing before Him. 

Except I never really sensed a separation.

It was like dusting the corners, sweeping under the bed, shaking the rugs, dumping the garbage, cleaning the cup, opening the drapes. Making room for fresh words from the Word. Feeling the Spirit's breath. Turning on the creative faucet. Like filling an empty grocery cart with all manner of new gourmet foods. Organizing them and planning the next meal to share with company.

It. Was. Yummy.

An early morning habit to cultivate in solitude and silence. Jesus AND my journal. No timer. At least three pages filled. Time for the Word. Time to sit and listen. 

Away from the computer. Away from the television.

Quiet time.

I can't wait until morning.

Copyright © 2010 by Sandra Heska King

Friday, March 26, 2010

One Has My Name - She Speaks


All I have to do is get myself there.

Can you say, "Road trip?"

Proverbs 31 Ministries sponsors an annual "She Speaks" Conference with tracks in speaking, writing, and women's ministries.

I've been brooding over it. Praying over it. For months.

The timing's perfect. After Alpenfest. After the new grandbaby and great niece arrive and settle in.

And now Lysa TerKeurst has three Cecil Murphy scholarships in hand that include conference registration, two nights at the conference hotel, conference materials, and meals! In North Carolina.

One of those scholarships has my name on it.

Some of my favorite people will speak like Lysa and Cec and Mary DeMuth and Renee Swope and . . . well, go here and see.

And they developed several topics with me in mind like Pursuing Excellence as a Speaker, The Power of a Story, How to Write a Book, So You Wanna Write a Novel, and  . . . well, go here and see.

And some things I'll learn include how to develop a theme audiences can't wait to hear, how to tell stories that keep my audience engaged, how to create a "grab-'em-by-the-throat-and-won't-let-go" book proposal, spiritual warfare, what makes writing great, how to schedule writing time and keep a balanced life, how to discover my unique voice, and . . . well, go here and see.

I love that this conference can help equip me to be more effective in both writing and speaking. Because chances are I don't have too many more years left to reach my dreams and make a mark for eternity. Not that I'm "old" or anything, but the time is now. And whatever I do, I want to do with excellence.

And so I am entering this contest just as the last bit of sand falls from the hourglass.

You can enter to win one of the scholarships, too. Just go here.

But hurry. Today is the deadline.

And remember, only two remain.

Because one has my name on it.

No, I'm not excited.

"And who knows but that you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this and for this very occasion?" Esther 4:14 (Amplified)

Copyright © 2010 by Sandra Heska King

Friday, March 5, 2010

How Do You Track Article Submissions?

Tracking submissions the old-fashioned way

I excavated some memories from deep within the burial grounds of an old filing cabinet. Here's an example of how I used to track article submissions. This little devotional (saved on white carbon tissue) had some adventures and ultimately found a home at Living With Hope for a grand payment of $9.00. At 20 cents to mail and 20 cents for a SASE, I would have made a grand total of $7.00 for about 300 words.

I say "would have" because the magazine went out of business before publishing the article, and I never heard from them again.

Rejected and Accepted

Anyway, this is how I tracked those early submissions. And I used different colored stickers on the files--yellow for still brewing, green for traveling, red for crash and burn, and blue for an acceptance. A blue letter day! And a gold star when the piece published and I got paid.

So now that I'm gearing up again in the high tech age, I need a new system--although to be honest, I still kind of like this old way. But since I'm planning to write a lot of little ditties in addition to working on my books, and since I'm all about decluttering and the simple life, I need a little help from my friends.

P.S. My blogs are a little out of control, too. I started by creating Word documents and pasting into Blogger. But now, I create right in Blogger and don't always remember to save. I'm gonna get burned soon if I don't straighten up and fly right, as my mom used to tell me.

So how do you track your article submissions?

Copyright © 2010 by Sandra Heska King

Monday, March 1, 2010

The Green Card

Note: This is a repost from my Beholding God blog.

In the bottom drawer of a file cabinet, I just discovered a thick folder filled with "poems and inspiration." I thumbed through it as I searched for examples to use in my message for ladies Bible study. Out fell this green card.

It's signed "Beverly." My brain strains toward a faint recollection of a women's speaker who visited our little church in Tampa. I cannot remember the article she speaks of.

The card sports a push pin hole, so it must have once resided on a bulletin board for inspiration and encouragement. I think it deserves a frame now.

I heart this card, and I breathe a prayer of thanksgiving for Beverly, for BBA, who took the time to send it and affirms me once again--25 years in the future.

"Therefore, encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing." ~1 Thessalonians 5:11

"And we urge you, brothers, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone." ~1Thessalonians 5:14

How have you been encouraged in your writing? How have you encouraged another? Who will you encourage today?

Copyright © 2009 by Sandra Heska King

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Research Resource--Ancestry.com

Illness tackled me for the last couple weeks. In my better moments, I amused myself by doing a little research for my Putty Grampa books.
  • I have a 16-stanza poem that my great-great grandfather wrote about his life as a shanty boy.
  • I have a piece of wallpaper from a family farmhouse.
  • I have my father's fleeting memory of a red leather chair in that farmhouse and of his mother describing a forest fire while aboard a train.
  • I have my father's memories of attending square dances with Henry Ford where his grandfather played the hammered dulcimer.
  • We still have that dulcimer, and another that was played in logging camps.
  • We have a handful of old pictures.
My dad's memory going very far back is wispy.

So I turned to ancestry.com. And found some very cool stuff, such as my great-grandfather's draft card, a picture of my great-great-great grandfather and his wife. I found occupations and moves and discovered that my family often took in boarders. I found that I could coordinate my grandmother's memory with one of the great fires that devastated Michigan. I even found out why my great-great grandfather was called "the putty grampa." My dad didn't know.

I signed up for a free trial membership, but I'm having so much fun that I've gone ahead to pay month by month.

The latest census records available are from 1930. But it seems to me if you needed some prompts for an historical novel, you might pick up some ideas from this site. Choose a name, any name, and see where it leads you. Then change names and build a character.

P.S. To my mother and sister who may read this. Mum's the word. Dad's birthday is coming up.

What do you do to jog your creative juices?

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Forensics & Faith: Five Reasons Why the Unpublished Can Stop Writing

"Has life and disappointment caused you to shove your writing aside? Enjoy your time off. It's all part of your journey."

"The real writers always return to writing."

Having set my writing aside for so many years, I dig this post by Brandilyn Collins!

Forensics & Faith: Five Reasons Why the Unpublished Can Stop Writing

Friday, January 29, 2010

Afeared of Writing


Yep, I'm a little afeared of writing.

A little.

Afeared of being rejected. But then. Not really.

I sold life insurance once. I'm tough. Of course, that gig didn't last long.

But I do get enough feedback to think I don't totally stink.

Afeared of being accepted and how that would affect the simpler life I long for.

Afeared I won't make enough money to keep me from going back to "work," even though I do have a supportive "sugar daddy."

Afeared that I will lose interest with anything longer than a blog post.

Afeared that I will start what I don't finish.

The woman of fizzling interests.

Afeared that I will spend too much time writing and ignore other important things. It's already happening.

Afeared  that I will run out of time to sing all my songs now that I've entered my "golden years."

Afeared that I will share too much of my WIP, and it will lose its magic or (GASP!) get stolen.

Right!

Afeared that I won't share enough of my WIP.

Cuz I need help! Big time!

I'm not afraid of nonfiction.  Devotionals. It's easy for me to behold God in the mundane. It's easy for me to tie spiritual meanings to earthly things. I can weave thought rags into colorful word rugs.

At least I think so.

Someone else may disagree.

I'm not afraid to "write naked." In fact, my family probably wishes I wasn't so "bare."

But I'm afraid if I become too well known (HAHAHAHAHA!), skeletons shoved in the closet depths will tumble out before their bones are dry.

It's why I would never let hubby run for public office.

Yep, I'm cool when it comes to nonfiction.

I think when it comes to fiction, though, I'm afraid to let my imagination loose. Afraid of loosing control. Afraid of where it might carry me. I've frisked those thoughts so many times, tied them up in the corral, took away their grain, let them languish in the shadows.

I might be a little afraid that others will talk amongst themselves. What DOES go on in her mind? Where does she come UP with this stuff?

Although I s'pose that can be a good thing.

So I'm cracking the stall door. Praying that the Creator of creative thoughts will guide my thoughts within His creative boundaries. That my story and character arcs will reach for Him, bow toward Him, and find hope and redemption in Him. That the pot of gold at the end of every story will reflect Him.

Nope. I ain't afeared.

What are you afraid of?

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Arc? What's an Arc?

Snady was in her office, typing away, creating a few posts for her blog there. She was a good devotional writer.

Clickity-clack. Clickity-clack. Clickity-clack.

DING!

Snady!

Somebody call?

Clickity-clack. Clickity-clack. Clickity-clack.

DING!

Snady!

Who is that?

It's the Lord--Snady.

Right. Where are ya? Whaddya want? I been good. Sorta.

I want you. to build. an arc.

A boat? You want me to build a boat? But that's already been done.

No. I want you to build an a-r-c.

Right. What's an a-r-c?

Look it up.

Flip, flip, flip.

The dictionary says an "arc" is a curve forming part of a circle, like a bow. 

Umm . . .You want me to build a bow?

Been there. Done that. (Genesis 9:13-16)
 
Look a little further.

Google. Google. Google. 

Here's something called a "character arc" and a drawing that looks like the St. Louis Arch and . . . 

Uh oh. Wait a minute. Lord, this is starting to sound like fiction. You don't want me to write (gulp) fiction. Umm . . . do you?

 
Bingo! I want you to build a story, some stories. It won't be easy, but you're too comfortable where you are. It'll be an uphill climb, a wild ride, and you'll struggle. A lot. But you will grow in the process. And one day you'll be comfortable again.

Trust me. Still.

GULP! Again.

Study, study, study.

Hmm. This character arc stuff seems kind of important. Next time I'll share some things I discovered.

In the meantime, enjoy this Bill Cosby video.




Question: Are you too comfortable where you are right now?

Copyright © 2009 by Sandra Heska King

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

In Pursuit---An Introduction


I missed out on a late-night conversation during the holidays. My sister apparently told my daughter and niece that I am a woman of many interests. That I throw myself into something and then abandon it when something else grabs my attention.

That might just have been a nice way of describing me as fickle. But then she told them that I always came back to writing.

She's got that straight. Sisters are smart like that. Especially younger and wiser ones. She reads me.

Lots of pursuits entailing lots of supplies entailing lots of money. Sometimes even making money.

Lots of hobbies. Soapmaking, quilting, antiquing, decorating, organic and vegetarian cooking. For starters.

Lots of jobs. Nursing, transcribing, editing, selling. For starters.

But it always comes back to writing. And reading, too. The pursuit of words. Tasting and tumbling sounds and syllables. Delighting in the perfect phrase. Making music with the alphabet. A passionate pursuit in the midst of pursuits.

I can't remember not writing in some form.

I loved Bambi so much that I brought the book home from the school library and attempted to copy it with a pencil.

I wrote long letters to my aunt who was a cloistered nun. Some were in journal form inspired by Jo from the Little Women.

Once I wrote a Nancy Drew type story where I was the heroine and captured bad guys down by the lake. I sent it to a local newspaper, just like Jo. It came back with a written rejection, and I burned both.

My parents took me to a Tigers game when I graduated from eighth grade. I wrote a poem about the game (the Tigers beat the Yankees) and sent it to George Kell and Ernie Harwell along with an autograph book. I don't know what they did with the poem. They didn't return it. But they did return the autograph book, and every player had signed it, including Al Kaline. A couple years later, I decided that was childish. And I burned it.

Sigh.

In the 80's I took a writing course through the Christian Writer's Institute with Esther Vogt as my instructor. I went to a CWI conference and started to submit articles. Some were actually accepted, and I made a little money. I wrote and edited a church newsletter.

During this time, I also dug deep in the Word, inductively, and led Precept classes. I taught. I spoke. I overcommitted to good stuff. 

And then came pain. Infertility. Pregnancy loss. Children adopted in our mid and late thirties. More joy and more pain. A granddaughter born to a single mom. Challenges. Dark nights of the soul. Wilderness times. Mountaintop moments. Emotional and spiritual growth.

And then near total burnout. Overwhelmed. Living life in frantic fragments with a blurred focus. I was tempermental and moody.

And restless with a deep desire to have my time, my work, my life, stamped with eternity.

I quit my job to regain my balance. I began to dig out of the rubble.

Dorothea Brande in her book, Becoming a Writer, says of a writer that "the moods and tempers, when they actually exist, are symptoms of the artist's personality gone wrong--running off into waste effort and emotional exhaustion."

So maybe my moods, my crankiness, my overwhelmed state were really a result of being overwhelmed with the wrong things? I'm certainly as busy or busier now as then and am much more overwhelmed with joy.

Ms. Brande also talks about arranging "affairs and relations so that they help you instead of hinder you on your way toward the goal you have chosen."

Or that was chosen for me?

At any rate, once I started the decluttering of heart, home, and head, I began to hear more clearly. A whisper. A faint rumble. A call. The call. Passion reawakened.

The right pursuit. The write pursuit. Placed in my heart by the One whom I pursue. With Whom I want to be right.

So today I spin this blog off Beholding God, which I started late last summer. That one simmered with an eclectic flavor. But now it will be mostly devotional and personal.

I hope The Write Pursuit will appeal to readers and writers, those also in pursuit of words. I'll focus on my writing journey, book reviews, author interviews, maybe some guest blogs, and writing tips as I learn them.

Thanks for visiting. I hope you'll come back, and I hope you'll find some encouragement for your own journey.

P.S. The pen above is a bookworm pen, a Christmas gift from my sister. The perfect gift for a reader/writer. You can find it and others here.

In pursuit,
Sandy

Copyright © 2010 by Sandra Heska King